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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Gah! I've fallen of the 31 Days Train!!!

Oh, people, people.  This is just not good.  I've fallen off the 31 Days train!  And I'm not sure if there is a way to get back on it this week.  Perhaps four-a-day postings over the weekend.  Gah!  We'll have to see if I can work this one out.

I do have these little thoughts to share though...

This is random, so bear with me.

You know how you have those facebook friends, those people from your youth...childhood...that maybe even you haven't seen since childhood, but its nice being facebook friends because you like not wondering about them?

Well, I have some of those.  A group of siblings.  We all lived on the same street growing up and I adored them.  I was such incredibly good friends with the oldest boy for several years.  I considered him to be a best friend.  We spent so many afternoons laughing and jumping on their trampoline in the back yard, playing basketball and walking around the neighborhood.  We all went to youth group together at church.  We wrote notes to each other back and forth.

And then sometime in high school we just drifted apart.  I blame driving.  Once you start to drive, your reliance on the neighborhood friends can sometimes wane.

So anyway, we've all been facebook friends for several years now and I like that.  A few years ago their mother died from breast cancer and I cried at my computer over the loss of such a wonderful lady.  She was so kind and welcomed all of us neighborhood kids into their home.  She was the same age as my mom and I couldn't believe that she had died.  It seemed so unfair.  I emailed my condolences.

I smile a little whenever I see something in my feed about them.  They're all doing ok.  And as hard as it is, life goes on.  They remind me of that.

But then on Sunday morning, I was shocked to see postings that my friend's wife had passed away.  I don't even think that shocked is the right word.  She was only 32.  I had never met this girl and it has been a good fifteen years since I have seen my friend, but I still couldn't believe the words on the screen.

I remembered so many years ago, holding my friend's hand when his high school girlfriend broke up with him.  I remember promising him that it would be ok.  He was always such a kind and sensitive soul and the enormity of what he has to be going through - to first have lost his mother and then his wife - is just too huge for me to even wrap my brain around.

On Sunday, nothing seemed right.  I felt like I was moving through jello trying to comprehend it all.  I can't even begin to imagine how he is, how his family is, dealing with this.  Unfathomable to me.

I planned my day on Sunday to put together a few blog posts in the evening {no wiww post this week, I just couldn't put it together on Sunday like I have been}...

...and then our internet went out and we didn't get it back until Monday night.

And then I was just too tired.

Have I mentioned the book fair?

It compounds the tired.

I had parents fight over a child in the middle of book fair this afternoon.  They were each pulling on an arm and the child was sobbing.  They were yelling at each other and finally they took it up to the front office.

I was heartbroken for this little girl.

Heartbroken for my friend. 

I'm thinking that I'll pick back up with my blogging at the end of the week.  I'm cutting myself some slack.  Showing myself some grace and forgiveness.  Giving myself a little time.

1 comment:

Rebekah said...

You need it! It is all emotionally draining. It's called false guilt when you place expectations on yourself.