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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I See a Cage Match in Their Futures

We have tried to separate them. Really, we have. We put them in different classes at school. They participate in different extra curricular activities. They have their own bedrooms...not that it matters, they still sleep together every night. When one asks to go outside, the other one wants to go too. When one wants to watch TV, so does the other. We force them to spend alone time in their room everyday, doing their own thing, but clearly nothing is going to solve the issue of fighting.

This morning: Chris was at a workshop. Quinn was at the sitter's. I told the girls to get dressed while I took a shower so that we could leave on time for my hair cut appointment in Athens. As soon as I turned the water off, I heard them. Casey's shrill, angry voice, "Say it like you mean it!!!" and then Chandler screaming her head off. I figured I should dry off and get dressed before making an appearance. I mean, I don't see what good it does for me to referee every single little incident between the two of them. They need to start learning how to handle things on their own. They also need to learn when they should come and get me to settle a matter.

Apparently, I do need to still step in and apparently, they do need some more training on solving their problems and on when to get mom before resorting to violence.

I stepped into the hallway just in time to see Chandler slam the door on Casey's finger. As soon as they saw me, they both began sobbing hysterically and continued screaming at the other one, and to me about the other one, trying to save their own skins.

Here's what happened: Casey came into Chandler's room so that they could jump off Chan's bed onto the air mattress that is still set up on her floor. In the jumping, she stepped on Casey's head. Casey cried foul and began screaming for Chandler to apologize, which she did, but Casey insisted that it wasn't sincere and that she needed to "say it like she meant it." (That was the screaming I heard when I got out of the shower.) Chandler swore that she did, in fact, mean it. Casey got in Chan's face, still screaming at her, and then Chan proceeded to bulldoze her out of her bedroom into the hall. (Her logic being that Casey never asked to come in her room, and while it was all good when they were jumping off the bed, it was not ok now that Casey was screaming in her face.) Only Casey grabbed hold of the door frame and refused to leave. (think Garfield) So Chandler slammed the door on her, pinching Casey's finger in the door.

I took care of the injury, but did not pass out sympathy. They were still yelling at each other and we had to leave so as to not be late.

The rest of the day has been fine. I think they're afraid of what I might do if they behave that way twice in one day.

Is this a twin thing? What do I do? Their fighting is increasing the older they get. Big sigh. Mabry? Erin? Melinda? Anybody?


Allyson said...

Makes me glad I only have one! Sorry I can't help. :(

Unknown said...

Mine are 15 month a apart. They are so much like your two. They sleep together, have to be in the same room playing together. And they even fight like crazy. Right now they are okay with Olivia's hurt wrist. But boy do see the day coming when Olvia wacks Charlotte with her cast. It's just part of being a sibling. I remember fighting with my sister as well and we are 3 yrs apart.

Patrick and Melinda Wallace said...

I do know that my sisters fought a fair amount, but I'm not sure what my mom did about it. I'll ask her and see if I can get some advice going for you. :)